Early Years

September 1978. The freedom of summer was over and had been replaced by the routines of a new school year, including Sunday School. But this year was a bit different. The congregations of First Baptist and Delta Baptist had joined together to become First Delta Baptist and this was the first time all the kids of Sunday School age would meet.

I remember getting ready Sunday morning and being a little nervous, but excited as well. Not only had I started a new school that week, but my church was undergoing a lot of changes as well, and I was aware that not everyone was happy about them. I was a little disappointed to find out that most of the kids from Delta in my age group were boys, but there was this one tall dark-haired one who caught my attention in a way that I did not understand at the ripe old age of 11.

Being an 11-year-old boy, I was less aware of the social implications. I was a bit saddened that we’d sold off the only church building I’d known, the backdrop of many happy childhood memories, and where I’d been baptized a scant few months earlier. My parents’ friends had mostly all had daughters, so I wasn’t fazed by our new Sunday School classmates all being girls, but there was this one with a blonde page-boy bob that both irked and delighted me in ways that were completely novel at the time.

We were blessed with a great group of friends during our early teen years, not to mention some incredibly positive adult influences. Sunday mornings were much more interesting when Jenn beat Blake at sword drills, and a friendship developed over the next couple of years as we grew into our teens and our social circle expanded from just Sunday mornings to include special events and youth group.

There was always something special about Blake. I was aware of it, but really didn’t figure out that I liked him until I was about 14. I know that I secretly loved it when he messed up my hair every time he saw me (though I reacted with appropriate indignation each and every time). He would just laugh and carry on. It also explained why I had this compulsion to steal and wear his jean jacket at every opportunity.

I wasn’t unclear about the fact that I liked Jenn through this era, but I sure didn’t know what to do with that fact. Plus, there were no clear signs she liked me back. For the record, I never did get that jean jacket back. (The way I remember it, she only rarely beat me at sword drills, even if she did just exclaim, “ha!”, as she saw me write this.)

Outside of church, we should note that Sandy, Blake’s dad, was a teacher at the school Jenn attended from Grade 6 through 8. He organized a special year-end trip every year for the graduating grade 8 class: a night out to the theatre, which included dinner at an upscale restaurant and tickets to a professional stage performance at The Royal Alexandra Theatre in Toronto. For Jenn’s grade 8 year the performance would be Oklahoma. Along on the trip came Sandy’s wife Elspeth as well as Blake and his sister, Karen. It would be the first time a social outing crossed the lines into our secular lives. We were dressed up to the nines and sat together at Old Ed’s for dinner, but across from each other at the theatre, though in very prestigious box seats.

We experienced lots of firsts together, but most of them were through our church affiliation. I especially remember being plied with questions about Blake by my classmates who were impressed that I knew Mr. Coverett’s son! Not having ever eaten a lot of fish, I was completely traumatized when his stuffed rainbow trout arrived with the head still attached and those eyes watched me throughout my entire meal.

I didn’t always get to come along on those trips, but months earlier, when I realized this would be Jenn’s turn to go, I was very excited about going that year. Fortunately, my parents understood better than we did at the time that there was something brewing between Jenn and I. There wasn’t even a question of whether I’d go that year—they just assumed I would. That trip is an important enough memory for both of us, that when we were thinking about something special to do last year we returned to The Royal Alex to enjoy a performance of Kinky Boots. Sadly, Old Ed’s, the restaurant in question, was torn down to make room for the Princess of Wales Theatre, or I’d have been making Jenn face the trout again.

Church goings-on were a big part of our lives. Elmah Baines was our Sunday School teacher for many years and took us on trips and expanded our worlds. Science Centre, Toronto Island, Nutcracker at the then O’Keefe Centre in Toronto are among the highlights. Sadly, Elmah passed away a few years ago, but Jenn did enjoy an afternoon visit with her at her retirement home not long before she died and was able to thank her for her years of devotion to a bunch of maybe not-as-appreciative-as-we-should have been teenagers.

The summer of 1982 we finally managed to almost get it together and started officially dating. By that point in time we don’t think it came as a surprise to any of our friends or our parents.

I guess more accurately it should be Blake had it together but I was still a little out to lunch. We mostly still hung around together within a group, though he did finally get around to kissing me, and I missed him horribly while he was away at cadet camp. My parents must have liked the idea of us dating as they relaxed their “thou shalt not date until you’re 16” rule for him. I have no recollection of what happened exactly but when the summer was over we sort of drifted away from each other until early into 1983, where again the details are fuzzy but we firmly became a couple and became more involved in each other's lives. My parents invited Blake to come with us to our family reunion the summer of 1983, which happened to coincide with my 16th birthday. Pretty important when you bring your boyfriend to meet all the aunts and uncles and cousins! Mom had a cake and after singing happy birthday, my Uncle Doug sung out, “Sweet 16 and never been kissed!” Geez, family can be good at embarrassing you!!

Jenn probably overestimates how well I had it together, but this period was certainly the official start of our relationship. There are so many new things at that age, and we had multiple false starts as we figured things out, but even in between we were very much entangled emotionally and as friends. One highlight was the spring of ’83 when the church had a weekend retreat at Camp Shalom. My cousin Jeff and I shared a pup tent while the girls had a proper cabin not far away. Jenn and one of her friends spent as much time as the adults would permit visiting in our tent. Not to lay any blame, but come Sunday morning, I was teased mercilessly by various adults about the red and purple marks that had cropped up along the side of my neck.

Camp plays a huge part in our memories, both individually and together: summer camp at Hermosa, church retreats at Camp Shalom as well as Kamp-In each winter. Kamp-In was supposed to be a one-off event to promote going to Hermosa the following summer, but it turned into a yearly event that went on for at least a decade. It was a fun program where for one weekend we turned the church building into a kids’ retreat; the classrooms became ‘cabins’ and we had a lot of fun and a little bit of shenanigans. We found pictures of us in the courtyard of the old church building (same courtyard we are being married in), with the sun barely up and piles of snow as we raised the flag and started our day.

My favourite memories of Kamp-In and Camp Shalom involve Jeff. Jeff is Blake’s cousin and my other mostest favourite Coverett boy. So, hmm, Kamp-In? I can’t remember which year it was, but the bunch of us older kids weren’t really ready to call it a night though we were supposed to be in our ‘cabins’. Instead, after lights out we had congregated in our sleeping bags in the main hall, lying side by each in a circle and just chatting. We had the foresight though to bring our Bibles with us, and when one of the adult leaders showed up and inquired relatively sternly what we thought we were doing, we answered ‘impromptu Bible study’. They let us stay up. Later on, I figured out that they didn’t buy that for a second, but they were wise enough to know that we just wanted to hang out together and we’re not getting into any trouble and let us be. Camp Shalom? Bob Shipley leading us in rousing renditions of The King is Coming. (Singing was always more my thing than Blake’s. He was always more a building sets kind of guy). And Hermosa? Well… saying goodnight to Blake as we parted and headed to our respective cabins for the night. Under the lamp light of the Norman Dobbs lodge the boy that I loved told me he loved me. Does it get any better than being 16 and in love?

Church camping, in various forms, provided a lot of the unstructured time Jenn and I had together as we were first dancing around each other and developing a relationship. Since we didn’t go to school together, and lived a good forty minute walk apart, this was hugely important for us. On a lighter note, the shenanigans Jenn alludes to include the courtyard we’ll be getting married in. When you are there, be sure to look up at the windows on the back edge of that space. On the second floor, the left two sets of windows are where Jenn and the girls her age were sleeping. The third window is where Jeff and I were sleeping. Turns out, those windows are big enough for a motivated 14 year old to slide out of and climb down the brick with plans to scare the girls with the stuffed wolf’s head from the Cub Scout supplies. Unfortunately, my father came outside just as I was going back in the window after the first exploratory trip down. Our plans were foiled, but we didn’t quite get sent home.

The summer of 1983 was quite life changing for both of us. Sixteen and in love. For reasons that no longer matter, Labour Day weekend of that year saw Jenn begin to live at the Coverett home. We still attended separate high schools and did weekend activities, including movies, and youth group outings and outings with friends. It was a very interesting situation. At some point during that year, Blake got his driver’s licence and we were now able to borrow the car and go on dates without having to be driven by a parent. The first one of these dates was dinner at Café 13 in downtown Galt, which still exists today in the same place as it was all those years ago on the corner of Main and Water Streets.

I remember the dress I made for semi-formal at GCI, with much guidance from Elspeth, and quiet conversations with Sandy during the rides home after I’d finished a shift at my part-time job. Our first high school party we attended was a PHS football gathering at one of the player’s homes. I also remember counting one day how many times we told each other “I love you”, and while I don’t recall the final count, I do know it was well over 100. We didn’t advertise our living situation to many, though our close friends knew. My schoolbooks were covered with doodles of his name and I dreamed we would marry one day. I guess daydreams of a romantic schoolgirl do eventually come true.

It was a delightfully odd situation. Being not a very social sort, my classmates largely didn’t even think I had a girlfriend, and yet here we were living down the hall from each other in something much closer to domestic bliss than most teenagers. That football team party was probably when they first realized Jenn wasn’t a figment of my imagination. Starting and ending each day with a kiss from the girl I was in love with made for a very happy year.

College Years

The next five years of our relationship saw many changes and ups and downs. In the summer of 1984 Jenn moved to Caledonia at her cousin’s invitation and Blake headed off to Saint-Jean-sur-Richelieu to begin military college. This was long before the days of unlimited long distance calling, email, texting, Skype and all the forms of communication now available that make the world a smaller place. Maintaining a long-distance relationship at such a young age for such an extended period of time certainly had its challenges. We went from spending time together every day to seeing each other a handful of times a year complemented with sporadic brief Sunday afternoon phone calls when schedules permitted as long distance was two-thirds off and thus affordable for two broke students. Sandy and Elspeth were always very kind and brought Jenn along on many of their in-person visits to St. Jean and gave use of one of their cars to Blake when he was home so he could travel to Caledonia or Toronto or Hamilton, whichever city Jenn was in at the time. Our love for each other never wavered but other things got in the way that neither of us possessed the communication skills or wisdom to recognize and deal with effectively. Sadly we parted, Jenn believing there was no other choice and Blake believing that our story was not yet over.

These years hold many happy memories of visits back and forth, visits to old Montreal, poutine for the first time, mess dinners, dressing up fancier than I’ve ever been for the Bal de Noël, trying new restaurants and exploring Toronto together while I was attending school and working there, weekend visits to Kingston and staying in the single officer quarters (which probably wasn’t really allowed), party weekends in Montreal, legally being allowed in a bar and all the travelling by train and plane and the excitement of being able to spend a few days together after weeks and months of being apart. I struggled during those years with a lot of issues and eventually came to the conclusion that I was not really good enough for Blake. And though I loved him, I pushed him away, convinced I had done the best thing for him.

University is often pretty life-changing, and Military College surely more so than most. Despite the ridiculously heavy schedules there, Jennifer remained a touchstone in my life. My close friends there all met her on various occasions and thought I was very lucky to have her. The visit in Kingston that she mentions above was while I was attached to the 1st Canadian Signals Regiment based there, and as a nominal member of their officer corps was allowed to bring a date to a Regimental ‘Dining In’. It made for a very formal affair for a couple of teenagers.

By the time I was going into my senior year, there was some pretty serious talk about getting married—to the point of making a guest list and such. I was not insightful enough at that age to realize Jenn didn’t feel she was good enough for me (and I certainly didn’t believe that), and had no idea why she was pushing me away. Until I heard from mutual friends that she was engaged, I continued to assume that we were only paused and not over. Looking back though, I do not think we had the emotional resources to work through the issues in our lives at that age, and going our separate ways was the only choice.

In Between Years

Having tucked our love away, we looked to the future and building lives that would not include each other. We each married, Jenn settling and raising a family in Caledonia and Blake in Cambridge, eventually moving his family to the Seattle area. Other than a chance meeting in the mid-’90s at a church-related function, we had no other contact. We sincerely wished nothing but happiness for each other.

The years saw both happy and sad times for each of us and our families. We cannot, however, look back with regret for without them we wouldn’t have our children, thoughts of whom bring smiles of happiness. They are truly our best accomplishments and are loved endlessly and unconditionally.

Until Sandy and Elspeth moved west to Victoria in the late ’90s I would pop by a couple of times a year to visit them. They were such an important part of my formative years that I wanted my children to know them and them to know my children. We were always welcomed with open arms. I credit them for my open-door policy with my own children’s friends that saw many a teenager crash on an open bed, couch, or even floor over the years.

I was pleased to hear that Jenn’s children played on the swing and slides my father and I built in the backyard for my daughters to play on, and I didn’t learn till recent years that she always scoped out the driveway to make sure my car wasn’t there before dropping in to visit my folks.

Around The Corner

January 2012. Having heard a few months before of Elspeth’s diagnosis, Jenn planned a side trip to Victoria during her next work-related trip out to the west coast. You can imagine her surprise when she found out that not only were Sandy and Elspeth in Victoria, but Blake was there too. Arrangements were made to meet for dinner and it was a wonderful, leisurely meal with lots of catching up with the whole family. Plans were made for a visit to Butchart Gardens and to attend church with the family on Sunday before Jenn had to leave for the mainland.

As I came around the corner and saw Blake waiting, the years melted away. Here was the boy I loved all grown up and I was looking forward to catching up and hearing all his stories.

There are many details from that first brief visit that are worth recounting, but I’ll settle for a couple of funny ones. The trip to Butchart Gardens didn’t go off as planned, because minutes before we were to depart, my parents’ water heater sprung a leak. I was very frustrated. It turned into Mom, Karen (my sister), and Jenn enjoying the Christmas displays at the Gardens while Dad and I waited on the plumber to arrive and replace a couple of pipes. Fortunately, things were patched up just in time that I could divert them on the way back to the hotel and at least take Jenn back myself.

The next morning, as we were arriving at church, we were greeted by Peggy French (the wife of our pastor, Chuck) and I introduced Jenn as a family friend. After church, she pigeon-holed me and asked, “So, is Jenn your friend… or your special friend?” I assured her that Jenn was strictly a friend, and I meant it at the time. If you read this someday, Peggy, know that you called it before we’d figured it back out - yes, definitely a special friend.

We stayed in touch via email and messaging over the next few months, and in late May of the same year Jenn returned for a second visit to Victoria as by then it was quite clear that the feelings tucked away so many years ago had not changed over time, and we once again commenced upon a long-distance relationship. The last few years have been quite a journey as we’ve reconciled past misconceptions and mistakes and reveled in a love that we thought would never be. Back and forth across the county we flew and spent countless hours chatting online until Jenn relocated to BC in 2015.

By the time I came back for a second visit, Blake was very clear in his intentions. I was not quite as convinced that marriage was in the cards, and at times I think he wondered what he had gotten himself into. And while in the recent months we had talked about making it official, he truly caught me off guard when out for his birthday in November of 2016 he asked me to marry him. That 16-year-old girl inside of me was doing backflips as I accepted his ring and became engaged to the love of my life.

Plotting to actually surprise Jenn with the specifics of the engagement was good fun. It involved a sneaky side trip to the goldsmith on Granville Island when I was supposed to be on the mainland for something else. Waiting for my 50th birthday provided a perfect cover for why we were going out somewhere nice and a bit dressed up. I succeeded in palming the ring after dessert while checking the time on my phone and had it there on the table in front of her for quite a while as we were talking. As I nudged to the topic of getting married, she tried to assure me it was okay if I didn’t want to. I told her that was pretty silly, and besides, what would I do with this ring if I didn’t want to marry her. After asking her properly, there was mostly silence and some tears, but when prompted that I was hoping for an answer, she said yes. It was the best birthday present I could ever ask for.

Our lives are full with the responsibilities of daily life, and we look forward to where the future may take us, together. A few years older and hopefully much wiser, we are very aware of the gift we have been given. So as we plan our wedding, we know that this is not where our story comes to an end, but is the beginning of another chapter of a story of a deep and enduring love.